I cut my bangs with some rusty kitchen scissors

In a haze of tiredness and in search of something to cure my post-long weekend blues I watched the ACM awards on Wednesday afternoon. I’m not surprised the ratings were good and they’ve set the CMA awards a new production challenge. There was a comfortable pace to the show, with Blake Shelton and Luke Bryan’s expected lads-on-tour bit pleasingly well behaved during their hosting stint.

The real star of the show for me was Miranda Lambert; three awards, an uplifting opening performance with Pistol Annies and her husband, and a rendition of Mama’s Broken Heart so full of snarling feist and awkward body-popping I wish I could bottle it for use on less motivated days.

Kimberly Perry’s leading of The Band Perry’s Done was also brilliant. She’s got the kind of energy you just can’t fake and is wildly underrated as a front woman. I also want to steal her hair and wear it as a wig. Not creepy at all.

It was interesting to see Taylor Swift be more of a wallflower. She sometimes looked unusually uncomfortable. Even her collaboration with Tim McGraw and Keith Urban had a not-entirely-in-the-room feel about it. I don’t want to jump on the Taylor hate bandwagon. I get the feeling she’s at a bit of a crossroads at the moment. But something’s definitely shifted.

Anyway, what’s clear here is that we all need to pool our money so that I can pay Miranda Lambert to be my best friend. Who’s in?

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